The American Invasion

So, I've been in London since the beginning of June: I know, I get around.

Obviously I was meant to be a gypsy of some sort.

I am not the biggest fan of London. In my head, it was the place of Holmes and Wimsey and Wilde. I suppose, somehow, I expected it to be stuck in the late 1800's/early 1900's.

This, my friends, is not the case.

London is chaotic. Always busy. Kinda smelly. Quite muggy. And full of incredibly unfriendly people.

Or perhaps it is just the famous British reserve.

It is a bizarre thing to be in a completely packed tube station.....and to hear nothing but clicking heels and rustling news papers. No one talks to each other. No one makes eye contact. Strangers don't strike up conversation.

Sometimes I just want to moan really loudly, or shriek some swear words, and then step back and see what happens.

I bet you everyone would pretend not to notice.

A few days ago, a rowdy American jumped on a packed train car and yelled, "Who here is from the U.S.?"

*Cheers*

"What about from the UK?"

*Silence*

Talk about complete and total inhibition.

What with the Olympics, London is suffering under the influx of the rest of Europe, as well as an invasion of Americans.

I am here to inform you that there is absolutely nothing in the world like watching an American abroad.

For one thing, they dress horrendously. Like, you kind of want to walk up to them and vomit on their fanny packs and polo shirts. I am pretty darn sure that it would help.

For another, they are so loud. SO. LOUD. Foghorn voices.

Also: they can't pronounce anything.

"Hey darlin, what you say we go to Pret ay Mayn Ger and grab something?"

In case you were wondering: "Pret a Manger."

"Ok, our stop is the Glock es ter one."

Gloucester (Admittedly: tricky. But, it's fun to watch the Brits try not to smirk.)

And get this: they are always eating. Always.

Sandwiches. Chocolate Bars. Chips. Cookies.

Crumbs down the polo, nestling on the fanny pack.

Hawt.

Attractive.

Yummy.

I really think there should be a reality show, in which Americans are followed around as they travel.