It is really interesting being a North American in London - I get to witness the weird social machinations of those around me, but am totally exempt from judgement of my own actions because I am so utterly foreign.
Well, I tell myself I am exempt. Whether that is true or not, I don't really know.
The first time I heard someone say "She is from a good family," I thought they meant her family was nice, or kind, or somehow excessively virtuous. And then I heard it again. And gradually I clued in that to be from a "good family" actually means something here.
In North America you are more judged on what you have done with your life, than on where you come from. Here, where you come from is everything. Being from a good family means that your parents went to certain schools and then sent you there. It means that you have a specific type of accent, that you might wear a certain type of clothing in a certain way, and that you or your parents possibly belong to various societies that could go back eons in time.
You could be an absolutely loathsome human being who hasn't actually ever done anything for himself, but if you are from a good family that is what matters.
Here, it actually matters whether you say "loo"or "toilet;" "sofa" or "couch;" where you go on holiday; what your post-code is.
Once, talking to a friend, he mentioned that he and his boss would never be able to see eye to eye or relate in any real way. His boss had gone to Harrow, you see, and had a signet ring. He, on the other hand was from East London.
I nodded politely, while interiorly my brain tried to make sense of the situation. Signet ring? East London?
WHAT?
After three years of observation, I now know what that means, and even though these divisions continuously strike me as absurd, they aren't, because they define and limit each person's view of himself and his opportunities.
Where I am from, the man in ripped jeans with tousled hair could be a multi-millionaire. The woman who came from nothing and then built herself from the ground up is admired and looked up to. Your past is simply that - in the past. Your present and your future are what you create, and could be anything you dream up, as long as you work hard enough.
There is such a freedom that comes with that attitude - the attitude that says you aren't limited by what has happened to you, or where you are from; that if you take control of your own life and persevere, most things are possible.
I wouldn't even have realized that this type of thinking was "other," or even that it is a privilege to thinking this way, until I came here.
There is nothing like living a new country, to make you aware of those things you assume are universally understood.
Well, I tell myself I am exempt. Whether that is true or not, I don't really know.
The first time I heard someone say "She is from a good family," I thought they meant her family was nice, or kind, or somehow excessively virtuous. And then I heard it again. And gradually I clued in that to be from a "good family" actually means something here.
In North America you are more judged on what you have done with your life, than on where you come from. Here, where you come from is everything. Being from a good family means that your parents went to certain schools and then sent you there. It means that you have a specific type of accent, that you might wear a certain type of clothing in a certain way, and that you or your parents possibly belong to various societies that could go back eons in time.
You could be an absolutely loathsome human being who hasn't actually ever done anything for himself, but if you are from a good family that is what matters.
Here, it actually matters whether you say "loo"or "toilet;" "sofa" or "couch;" where you go on holiday; what your post-code is.
Once, talking to a friend, he mentioned that he and his boss would never be able to see eye to eye or relate in any real way. His boss had gone to Harrow, you see, and had a signet ring. He, on the other hand was from East London.
I nodded politely, while interiorly my brain tried to make sense of the situation. Signet ring? East London?
WHAT?
After three years of observation, I now know what that means, and even though these divisions continuously strike me as absurd, they aren't, because they define and limit each person's view of himself and his opportunities.
Where I am from, the man in ripped jeans with tousled hair could be a multi-millionaire. The woman who came from nothing and then built herself from the ground up is admired and looked up to. Your past is simply that - in the past. Your present and your future are what you create, and could be anything you dream up, as long as you work hard enough.
There is such a freedom that comes with that attitude - the attitude that says you aren't limited by what has happened to you, or where you are from; that if you take control of your own life and persevere, most things are possible.
I wouldn't even have realized that this type of thinking was "other," or even that it is a privilege to thinking this way, until I came here.
There is nothing like living a new country, to make you aware of those things you assume are universally understood.
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