Useful Gifts

A few weeks ago, my Spanish half was in New York for a business trip. It was completely last minute, he was gone for an entire week, I had wanted to go with him but the Home Office is still processing my residency and I couldn't......

So I requested a present. 

He travels a lot for work, and typically I would never think of, or expect, presents from his trips. But this time I just really needed one to get over the disappointment of not being in New York over fashion week. 

So, I told him. I told him, in black and white, that I was down in the dumps and really needed a present to lift my spirits.

He sent me a picture of  coffee mugs at the 911 Memorial site, and asked which colour I wanted. 

I asked if he was kidding me.

He said he was terrible at present buying, and was feeling overwhelmed when confronted with all the shops full of clothing and bags and shoes.

I told him I would not accept excuses, and we left it at that.

He arrived home on a bright Saturday morning, while I was at brunch with a friend. 

When I got home, he was sound asleep - not being able to sleep on planes - but there was a small box sitting on my desk, next to my laptop. 

I shivered in anticipation. He had done it. He had gotten me a gift! Was it perfume? A bracelet? Earrings?

I picked it up, was momentarily puzzled by the French labelling, flipped it around until I found some English...

And discovered that he had gotten me very expensive anti-aging skin serum.

Umm.....

What?

........WHAT?

Apparently, he told me cheerfully when he got up, he noticed it whilst walking through a department store. He saw it and remembered that he had started noticing wrinkles around my eyes when I smiled. He thought, he said with massive satisfaction, that a present was always best if it was also useful.

I stared at him, blankly, willing him to say something that would make me not want to disembowel him.

Fortunately, he wasn't finished.

He had, he said with immense satisfaction, taken a look at some lovely handbags, but on consideration remembered that I had a shelf full, and probably didn't need any more. He was lucky he had stumbled upon the skin-serum, because it seemed like the perfect thing.

You know when you open your mouth to say something, but your brain has short-circuited and nothing comes out?

It was probably best that this happened, at that precise moment in time. Thank the Good Lord above for that.

And it is also probably best that he rarely checks his credit card statements, and so probably will not notice the lovely pair of boots I bought very shortly after.

But if he does notice, I can just tell him that they are useful. They keep my legs warm during the brisk autumn weather, and allow me to wear my lovely dresses the whole year round without getting a chill. 

Now. Who could object to that?